Happy This ONE Friday!

We all love the idea of learning—online courses, certifications, even a new master’s degree. They promise a better version of ourselves. But what if our craving for knowledge isn’t about growth at all? What if it’s about something else entirely?

Should we question our motives for learning? Damian Collins and I, an HR&OD practitioner and a coach, certainly did. On the surface, it might sound ironic—aren’t our careers dependent on people embracing learning? But what we discovered was worth the risk.

It all started with Damian’s question: What’s your motivation for learning? Then he explained, sometimes noble intentions might not come from a noble place.

This question miraculously echoed my recent learning (about learning). And I quickly seized the opportunity to reflect – below are the five learning traps I fished out.

1. Learning as a Coping Mechanism for Ambiguity

Your brain whispers a comforting lie: If you learn more, you’ll feel in control. But the truth? Beyond a certain limit, the more you research, the less clarity you have. The more you prepare, the more anxious you become.

We over-research strategies, over-prepare for interviews, and overthink decisions. Ironically, this kind of learning doesn’t eliminate uncertainty—it amplifies it and the anxiety behind it.

There’s a difference between the unknown and the unknowable. Some things can never be known—like predicting every possible outcome. Others, while technically knowable, may require more effort than they’re worth to uncover.

Instead of rushing to learn more, pause. Sort through what you already know, anchor yourself in it, and make a decision. Clarity often comes not from knowing more, but from acting on what’s within reach.

2. Learning Fueled by Self-Criticism

The drive to learn can often mask a deeper insecurity: “I’m not enough.” And here’s the thing—no amount of learning can ever fill that void.

How can you tell if your learning stems from insecurity? Watch for these signs: harsh self-judgments or a fixation on everything you lack rather than your strengths.

Take this common example: a young manager leading experienced colleagues might think, 'I’m not an expert, so I’m not qualified to lead.'

Instead of desperately attempting to fill the vast knowledge gap, acknowledge your strengths. Focus on the real gap. Maybe it’s not technical knowledge you lack, but the ability to build relationships. Maybe your team already values your perspective. By focusing your learning efforts intentionally, you reduce anxiety and build confidence.

3. The Dangerous Illusion of a Promised Future

Learning is seductive because it offers hope: Someday, things will be different. Someday, I’ll be ready.

But beware of the endless loop: course after course, certification after certification, each promising transformation. Without clarity, we hand over our agency to courses and certifications, hoping they’ll fix us, instead of treating them as tools for specific goals.

Ask yourself:

• What’s the change I want to create?

• Is learning this the best way to create it?

As Zhuangzi famously said, 'Our life has limits, but knowledge has no limits. To pursue the infinite with the finite is perilous.' This reminds us that we should focus on learning what is necessary and what makes sense. Real progress comes from applying what we already know—not from endlessly acquiring more.

4. The Illusion of Quick Fixes: The Power of "Other People's Wisdom"

Self-help books are global bestsellers. People swear by them, follow experts religiously, and promise themselves that the next book or guru will provide the breakthrough they need. Yet many still say they "know a lot" but don’t know how to truly grow. Why is that?

Often, these books are nothing more than "other people's wisdom"—wisdom that hasn’t been internalized, tested, or adapted to our own lives. They end up as fertilizer on soil that doesn’t absorb them. You can read page after page, but if you don’t connect those insights to your own reality, they remain just that—words on a page.

The trap is easy to fall into: collecting wisdom without applying it. This endless consumption of ideas can keep us stuck in a loop of intellectualizing, while avoiding the hard work of personal transformation. True growth comes not from accumulating knowledge, but from making it your own, applying it, and experiencing its effects in your life.

5. Learning as an Escape from Reality

Sometimes, learning isn’t about growth—it’s a way to pause life. A full-time course. A retreat in the mountains. It’s tempting, isn’t it?

I’ve fantasized about this myself: a writer’s lodge with snowy mountain views. Just me, my dreams, and time to write. But the reality? Writer’s block. Chores. Lost momentum. And homesickness.

Alice Munro describes this perfectly in The Floating Bridge, where a character feels strangely disappointed at her cancer remission—because her illness had become a “free pass” to step back from life. That’s the allure of the pause: a fantasy of perfect focus, simplicity, and control—free from life’s chaos. But a pause, stepping back, often comes at a cost—money, time, and lost momentum. Worse, it can create more problems than it solves.

“Don’t pause, keep living. “ Damian said it gently but the message was loud and clear.

Don’t chase new skills or industries as an escape from reality. Instead, explore how you can create purpose where you are. The most impactful learning often comes from living fully, right now.

The Real Question

Where does your drive for learning come from? Anxiety, insecurity, or avoidance? Or curiosity, clarity, and purpose?

When learning comes from the right place, it transforms not just what you know but who you are. So plant your learning in the soil of life—not in mid-air. Live fully, and let the learning follow.

The Three Kinds of Transformative Learning

1. Learning for Progress

This is purposeful learning: applying, reflecting, iterating. It’s not about filling a void—it’s about creating momentum.

2. Learning for Joy

This is learning at its purest—a spark of curiosity, a sense of play, with no agenda or void to fill. It’s this innate joy in discovery that defines us as humans.

3. Learning to Break Patterns

The hardest learning is about yourself—seeing your reality differently. It means understanding your role in creating it, reframing situations, and challenging your assumptions. Reframe your understanding of the current situation. Confront your bias. Only when we truly learn about our reality, meaningful changes happen.

In the end, true learning doesn’t demand escape or perfection—it calls us to live fully and grow where we stand.

If you’re curious about how a fresh perspective could transform your approach to learning, leadership, or life, let’s have a conversation.

Until next week,

Yolanda Yu
Coach and lifelong learner

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Every Friday, I share ONE idea and its manifestations and 1 question for you to ponder. Other ingredients you can expect will be book extracts, quotes, metaphors, tools, resources, and mini-exercises to keep growing your self-awareness.